The hardest story to tell is the story that happened today. Today, December 12th is the day my husband died in 2008. But this is a story that needs to be told because it is also the story of a visit by an angel.
Highlands Regional Hospital, Prestonsburg, KY: My beloved was dying. The doctor told me there was nothing to be done other than put him on a respirator, which Terry had told me several times he did not wish to ever be put on a respirator. I was completely alone in the room with Terry while he was dying. Suddenly a nurse came in that looked very familiar to me. This wouldn't be strange because my Mother had died in the same hospital in 1983, and I had gotten familiar with most of the nurses.
She came in and was with me when Terry died. I was holding him and she was listening to his heart as he passed away. She said words of comfort to me which I don't remember and then left the room.
I was alone with my beloved. I stayed with him about six minutes when I walked out into the hallway. In the hallway was Terry's other doctor standing with a different nurse. He looked at me with a smile and said, "How is Terry?!" I was shocked, I had been a nurses aid in a nursing homes so I know that when someone passes away you report it immediately and the nurses station was very close to Terry's room. I stuttered, "He's...gone." He and the other nurse ran in and listened to his heart and said, "Yes, he is gone."
I wondered why the nurse that had been with me when he died had not reported my husband's death. She had definitely had time enough after she left my room, and the Doctor had obviously just come from the nurses station on his way to my husband's room, so he should have been informed.
For the next three years, I thought about this nurse and who could she have been. I had many questions.
1. Who was she?
2. Why did she look so familiar to me, like I had seen her before?
3. Why didn't she report my husband's death to the Doctor and Nurses?
One day in prayer God answered all my questions.
"Lord", I said, "Who was she and why did I never see her again?"
The Lord showed me that the reason she looked familiar is she had been my Mother's nurse from 1983, but the only thing is she hadn't aged a day.
This was an angel of God that He had sent to Terry. God had allowed her to take a form that He knew would be comforting to me. It was such a grace that when my beloved's heart beat the last time an angel had a hand right where his heart was to give that last beat.
Angels are real, do not doubt it.
One day a new demon was asking questions of his demonic mentor, the elder demon assigned to show him the ropes so to speak.
"Why does the illustrious evil one hate humans so?" asked the new demon.
"You don't know?"
"No, I don't. It doesn't make much sense to keep offending the Almighty, we are already condemned for all eternity, and we know that the Almighty, no matter what our sentence, can and will increase our suffering in proportion to the damage we try to inflict on those He loves..the humans I mean."
"Yes, I know what you mean." The elder demon looked uncomfortable at the turn of the conversation, but knew if he wanted the junior demon to survive the illustrious evil one's wrath, he had better tell him. "The reason the supreme evil one hates humanity so is because of what beats in their chest, their heartbeats. "
"What? I don't understand."
"Well you see, God is eternal, He always was, and always will be. And before the *Blessed Trinity *", he said with a curse under his breath, for no demon can deny the reality of God, "...took on the flesh as the Lamb, God conceived in His heart, the heartbeat of Man and the heartbeat of His Son. So before man's flesh was formed the heartbeat of man began to beat, but only in God's heart. "
"We the angels before the throne of God where allowed to hear the future heartbeat of man that God loves so much, for it wasn't of flesh, for man was not yet made, but of love alone that the heart beat. So throughout heaven the heartbeat of man, formed from the love of God alone beat in heaven. It made a very distinctive sound, you can hear it now."
"So that is what that is?" Thats the 'thump thump' I hear constantly in the background?"
"Grrrr.....YES! That is the heart of man beating on the Earth! The heart of the fleshy one's that the Eternal One loves so much that He, can you imagine, HE, the Holy One, the One that formed every star in heaven, even HE lowered Himself and took on this atrocious flesh and heartbeat."
"But why would this bother the illustrious evil one? The fleshy one's will die and many will come to our kingdom."
"You don't get it do you. WE DON'T HAVE HEARTBEATS!! Because we were once before the throne of God and had all knowledge of what God Is and His Holiness, we, who are eternal, are eternally damned. WE CAN NEVER REPENT TO THE ETERNAL ONE AND GO BACK...not ever. Every time the illustrious evil one hears one of those heartbeats he is constantly reminded of what he can NEVER have, but what the fleshy ones always can, while they are in the flesh that is. They can repent and return to the Holy One, but every one of their heartbeats is like being thrown out of heaven all over again.
"Oh I think I am beginning to see. This makes sense now, so the illustrious evil one will do anything to stop that heartbeat on the earth, and ideally, make it stop when the soul is in such sin that he or she will come directly to our kingdom, correct?"
"Yes."
"Um....hmm. So that is why the illustrious evil one tries to tell people how good it is to commit suicide?"
"Yes, but there is more too it than just wanting the heartbeat to stop."
"Well, you see, if the illustrious evil one can get those that are terminally ill to commit suicide, take the 'easy' way out, then they will totally miss the purification of suffering and by breaking the Holy Ones' commandment that says, 'Thou shalt not kill.' , it is very likely that he or she will end up with us. Not 100% guaranteed, but the odds are in our favor so to speak.
"Why isn't it 100%? The Holy One is perfectly just right? Why wouldn't we get them."
Frustrated, the senior demon snorted, "It is the warriors that the Holy One has sent upon the earth."
"Warrior angels?"
"No, the prayer warriors that intercede and plead before the throne of God for those with the blackest of hearts, the ones that should be ours, but these Warriors snatch them from us constantly. If these warriors love God and love those that God loves then their heart beats for God and for the conversion of sinners, these souls the Holy One protects, we have very little we are allowed to do to them, and even if we are allowed, it just usually makes them more in line with the Holy One, and gets them closer to heaven.....We lose either way."
"This is part of our eternal punishment, to constantly hear and be reminded of what we lost for all time by forever hearing the heartbeat of man. It will never cease, for even when all is completed as the Holy One deems, we will still the heartbeat of the Son, for all eternity."
The realization was beginning to sink in. All the demons and the damned in Hell will always hear the beating of the Sacred Heart, and know it cannot and never will beat for them. Truly the loss of the love of God was and is the greatest suffering in Hell.
=================================
